The curse has been passed

Farm Forum

“Don’t feel so bad, honey. It happens to the best of us,” were the comforting words that I expressed to my niece recently as she bravely sought to hold back her tears. I hugged her and reassured her that everything would be all right, but I couldn’t help feeling a wee bit giddy.

Oh, for the love of Pete! How could I be feeling such happiness, when she was so unhappy? Shame on me! But, honestly, I just couldn’t help myself. And the story goes like this…

Sometimes trauma brings out the best

Last week, I had an 11:30 luncheon date with two of my sisters and one of my younger nieces who I will call “Nancy”-just to protect the innocent. Because we gals don’t get to see each other very often, the chatter was fast and furious spurred on by young “Nancy’s” 12:30 hair appointment.

Since “Nancy” was an elementary teacher, she knew how to eat in a hurry and before we knew it-she was off to her hair appointment. That was fine with us because we old gals were still on the first half of our sandwiches and we still had much to talk about. “Nancy” zoomed out the restaurant door and said that she would be back shortly.

My sister Lois reminded “Nancy” that she had some stuff for her, so not to forget to come back and pick it up. Well, “Nancy” came back pronto, picked up the stuff from Aunt Lois and put it in her car trunk and then reality hit. “Nancy” could not find her car keys. That’s when I took her into my arms and felt such happiness!

Oh, Hallelujah! It was a good day for me because I knew that the infamous Lost Keys Curse had finally been passed to a new generation. “Nancy” was now the family

member blessed with this illness or as I like to say-she had inherited my curse.

With the inheritance of the curse, “Nancy” experienced several hours of agonizing frustration in her frantic search for the car keys. And good old Aunt Jane enjoyed watching every moment of the experience. Does that make me a terrible aunt? Possibly, but after several decades of wrestling with the curse, I formulated a sure cure remedy to counter the beast, which I immediately shared with poor “Nancy.”

The Five Point Plan:

· First, and foremost, always thoroughly search where you last remember having your keys. That means dump out all the contents of your purse. Or, empty your pockets by turning them inside out to reveal the contents.

· Second, slow down and think about where you have been. Alert stores to be on the lookout for your keys.

· Third, take a deep breath and then investigate in, under, and behind the seats, consoles, trunk, grill guards, dashboard, door side pockets and be sure to look even under the hood. Leave no area unsearched.

· Fourth, look underneath the car and all around the tires and windows. Even pat the ground around the car with your hands just in case you dropped the keys. And then when all else failsÉ

· Fifth, call home for the extra set of keys. By the time the extra set of keys arrives at the scene; you probably will have already found the lost set.

There isn’t any place

Let me assure everyone, there isn’t any place or any incident that those of us with the “Lost Key Curse” won’t believe. I personally, have found my keys in the “dog gonedest” of places, but in my niece’s case, well, she has earned the “Top Award” for most unusual scenario.

“Nancy” found her keys dangling from her own car trunk keyhole. You see, after searching for hours and exhausting all efforts, she finally gave up and shut the trunk and there they were right in plain sight. How did this happen and for goodness sake why didn’t she see them hanging there before?

Well, after getting the stuff out of Lois’ vehicle, “Nancy” carried the stuff over to her car and put it in her trunk. On that particular day, she had to open her trunk with her car key because her trunk button on the key fob wasn’t working properly. Thus, by turning the key in the lock the old-fashioned way, the trunk lid flew open and upward putting her key ring out of her sight.

Learning to slow down and have a good laugh

The best part of this whole episode was that we all shared a good laugh and then “Nancy” took us out for pie to celebrate. Let me tell you, that was a great piece of coconut cream pie!

And as you read through this little story, some words with similar meanings possibly were apparent to you readers. “Nancy” was in a hurry throughout the entire episode. And therein is the problem or what I call the curse that I used to have. I was always in a hurry and did things much too quickly and that’s why I probably was forever losing or misplacing my keys.

The Best Part of Old Age

Well, old age has changed my hurried pace and has brought about some really good things. For instance, I finally learned to slow down because I can’t move as fast as I used to. Since I can’t move as fast, I am now not misplacing my keys nearly so often. Evidently, I am moving slower so my brain can keep up and remember things. Ha!

And as I enjoy these old age blissful ponderings, I proffer the thought that someday the younger folks will learn what I have learned and will slow down also. In the meantime, I am ever so happy that my curse has been passed to a new generation. Thank you, “Nancy.”

Jane Green and her husband, Jim, live near Clark. Contact Jane for some public speaking, to order one of her books, or to register your comments. E-mail her at: