Men controlled by libidos, but can libidos be controlled?

Farm Forum

The large number of sensational sexual misconduct cases in recent years suggests that men have a problem controlling their libidos. Misandrists — men-haters — will try to cast this as a power-over-women issue, but their simplistic, hateful point of view is disputed by obvious facts.

It is difficult to see how much procreation would take place without male and female sexual desire. Procreation is kind of important to the species. Those who claim that women don’t desire sex, but are coerced into it by a male-dominated society, know different women than I.

Some diseases are diagnosed, in part, by loss of sexual desire. So, I conclude that sexual desire among men and women is natural and healthy.

Lack of control of these desires, however, can cause severe problems for men, women and children. Men need a way to take control of these desires. Let me state categorically that I am talking about men taking personal control of their own desires, not someone else taking control over them. Men are already manipulated by their sexuality far too much.

We tell men they should control their sexuality. We don’t tell them how. Moralists are quick to bang on men about their sexual desires. I have yet to hear any of them offer any reliable way for men to take control of their sexual desires, especially a way which does not put a man in constant conflict with his biological drives, or harm his health.

We have too many products and services to increase the male libido. Why don’t we have products, techniques or therapies that would allow men decrease or eliminate their own libido? Where is the money for research on developing these kinds of products or services?

Why can’t science develop a product or therapy that a man could take that would decrease his libido to the point that sex would be no more attractive than cold, unflavored oatmeal. If a man decided, while on this treatment, to have children, he could quit until the effects wore off, make a baby and then resume. Such a product or therapy should have no side effects other than eliminating male sexual desire.

How would such personal power over male sexual desire affect the relationships between men and women? How would it affect the power balance between men and women? How would it affect business? How would it affect male work habits? What would life be like if the elimination of one’s own sexual desire became as much of an obsession for men as sexual gratification is now?

We could speculate about this, but it would only be speculation. As women’s and men’s worlds merge and we require men to be in complete control of their sexual drives, we should ponder the possible unintended consequences of them actually gaining this control. We should also be looking for ways to help men gain this control.

Libidos, locked in angry, frustrated male minds should not be in the recipe for a stable society.

Lawrence Diggs, Roslyn, is an author and professional public speaker. Write him at