Dakota gardener: Garden humor

Carrie Knutson
North Dakota State University Extension
Gardeners may need a little humor to get through the rest of the growing season.

Gardening can be a tough hobby.

Gardening is not like playing golf or basketball. Gardeners play only one game a year. It’s a game where the opponents — Mother Nature, insects and animals — try their best to stop us from winning a beautiful landscape and pantry full of vegetables to eat during the winter.

This has been a difficult year for many of us in the plant world: worsening drought conditions throughout the state, early warmth followed by frost and now heat that just won’t stop.

So, in light of all the struggles we face as gardeners, I thought it was time for some humor to help us through the rest of the growing season.

I present a “You might be a gardener if …” list.

You have amended soil, built raised beds or hauled different soil in to grow plants that need a low soil pH, specifically blueberries.

You ever have rescued plants from yard waste disposal sites.

You have killed a favorite plant at least three times but still will try again next year just in case the plant decides to grow this time.

You have two pairs of gardening shoes. One of them is a good pair that you save for going out in public. The other pair doesn’t leave the yard.

You have a favorite pair of work gloves that has holes patched with several layers of duct tape.

You consistently try to grow plants out of their hardiness zone.

Your family complains about your composting habit.

You have no room for vehicles in your garage on frost warning mornings because of all your plants.

Rabbits and squirrels are your arch nemeses.

You have fences within fences within fences to keep your pets and arch nemeses out of your garden.

You paint your nails a dark color during the growing season to help hide the dirt.

While visiting a local greenhouse or garden store, you get asked if you work there. You say "no," but help the customer anyway.

Many of your sentences begin with “Next year I/we should try … .”

I hope you enjoyed reading the list and laughed at least at little. I must admit I have done quite a few of these items, but I still have some left to do. Maybe next year I can add them to my garden to-do list. Happy gardening!

For more information about gardening, contact your local NDSU Extension agent. Find the Extension office for your county at https://www.ag.ndsu.edu/extension/directory/counties.